Last Chance to Lose Control
by Second-Hand Heart
Summary: The gift he gave her is a dark and heavy burden, and she struggles to control the bloodlust that dogs her footsteps. But what happens when she loses grip on the leash? Eventual AxS fic.
1. Punishment

_BANG!_

**Ghouls. Men. Guns. Blood. The wretched stench of fear and decay, mixing together in an orgy of uncontrolled violence.**

_BANG!_

**The pounding of her feet as she ran, killing man and ghoul alike, the bloodlust taking over.**

_BANG!_

**The sound of guns and screaming, surrounding her. The smell of fresh bloodshed intoxicating her senses. She could feel herself laughing.**

_BANG!_

**Her footsteps came to a sudden stop. Turning around, all she could see was the path she had plowed through the ranks of her undead soldiers.**

_BANG!_

**Not a single one moved, but her blood sang for more and her body forced itself onwards, hungry and unsatisfied.**

_BANG!_

**Her eyes were forced away from the puddles of her former comrades blood, and somewhere deep inside her, someone was screaming for her to stop.**

_KCHICK!_

**She licked her lips as she ran. She could taste the blood on them, bitter and cold. Now she wanted something fresh and warm… Something sweet and without the salty taste of flesh sticking between her teeth.**

_KCHICK!_

**She rounded a corner and came to an abrupt stop. Her master, Alucard, stood there, waiting for her. He grinned maniacally as he looked her up and down, taking in the blood spattered uniform she wore and the massive cannon over her shoulder.**

_KCHICK!_

**At the sight of him, everything inside her stopped. The world ceased revolving and her body ceased moving.**

_KCHICK!_

**She let her Halconnen dropped to the ground with the dull ring of metal on stone. Her bloodlust faltered and dissipated like mist on a winter's morn, and she was left to stand in front of his cold red eyes, horror contorting her face as she came to her senses.**

_KCHICK!_

"Miss Victoria?"

Seras lowered her gun and stared at the target in front of her. Five holes in the head and one in the heart.

**A body fell in front of her, a clean hole through the chest, where the heart in her hand used to be.**

"Miss Victoria?" the voice said a little more insistently.

**Something grabbed her neck, cold clammy breath pushing against the sensitive skin there. She turned around sharply, bringing her hand up in a swift cutting motion. The head fell to the floor with a thud, soon followed by the body.**

She slowly turned her head to face the kind old retainer standing in the doorway. "Yes, Walter?"

"Are you quite alright, Miss Victoria?"

She sighed. "Quite, thank you. Was there something you wanted?"

"Sir Integra wishes to speak with you about your recent mission."

Seras reverted her gaze back down to the ground. That had not been a good mission. Her body had been deprived of the blood it so sorely needed. She had gone mad with bloodlust at the faintest hint of the red liquid.

She nodded silently and made for the door, carelessly throwing the gun she had been using on a steel table as she went.

No doubt she was going to be beaten over the head with the deaths of her comrades. It was inevitable, she guessed. She was their commander, their leader, and she had led them to their deaths, even causing some, or most, of them as she submitted her body to the utter control of her true vampiric nature. Of course, she had fought it off for as long as she could. But even then, that wasn't long enough.

She quickly made her way to the large doors of Integra's office. She stood outside of them, straightening her uniform and trying to buy herself some time. She checked the length of her skirt and pulled it down as far as it would go, made sure her collar was flat and neat against her shoulders and made sure her buttons were all done up. As much as she hated to admit it, she was furiously intimidated by her commanding officer. It wasn't simply because she was Seras' boss, but because every time Seas met the eyes of the older woman, she could always pinpoint the disapproving look hidden in their depths.

Finally finding nothing wrong with her appearance, she knocked on the door, three solid taps of her knuckles on the hard oak surface.

"Come in," came the stern reply from inside and Seras inwardly cringed at the note of steel in the words.

She slowly opened the door and stepped into the large room, nervously bowing to the figure in the high backed chair behind the large desk, before letting the door slowly swing back into it original state, the soft click of the latch catching sealing her inside the room with the obvious barrage of barked and impatient reproaching.

She walked over to stand in front of the desk, grateful that her legs didn't wobble or give way, a sure sign to indicate to the stern woman just how anxious Seras was. She began to fidget, however, when Integra continued to gaze at her coldly from over the top of the glasses.

After a few more moments of watching the young vampire pull at the hem of her skirt nervously, Integra decided to speak, "Three battle units, forty-five Hellsing soldiers and two-hundred and nine artificial vampires and/ or ghouls." She glanced down at the report in front of her. Seeing that everything was correct, she continued, "All deaths accounted for and caused by Senior Officer Seras Victoria, Commander of unit three-zero-five. Officer Victoria and her unit were first seen on the location of the attack and first to engage the target in combat. It was reported, however, that only Officer Victoria survived the warfare. On later investigation, her soldiers were found, fallen, some of which deaths were related to non-ghoul activity, -"

**There was blood on her hands as she reached over her shoulder for her cannon-**

"- Some soldiers were found with their hearts missing, others with broken necks, fractured skulls, missing limbs and/ or throats, and various other wounds. None such injuries are related to the behavioral pattern of a ghoul. The Master Vampire of all the ghouls was dealt with by Alucard -"

**His eyes glinted with malicious laughter as she stared at him, taunting her for losing control-**

"- And the two vampires were encountered together once the reinforcements arrived. When questioned, Alucard admitted to not having anything to do with the soldiers' deaths. Officer Victoria, though, remained silent about how her troops were killed." Integra slammed her hand down angrily on the desktop, making Seras start at the sudden sharp sound. "What _happened_?!" she hissed at the girl in front of her, almost chopping her cigar in half as she furiously bit down into it.

Seras looked at the floor, ashamed of what she had done. "I lost control," she mumbled to the tiles beneath her feet.

"Officer Victoria! Look at me when you are answering a question!" the young Hellsing barked impatiently, pushing up her glasses to pinch the bridge of her nose.

Seras raised her head, willing the tears pushing at the backs of her eyes away. "I lost control, Sir." She said, a little harder than she meant to.

Integra glared at her coldly for a while, thinking over what punishment would be suitable to fit the actions of her most recent servant. Several options presented themselves to her. She could: lock Seras in her room for an extended period of time; command her to drink her blood, while in the company of someone who could actually _force_ her to drink; put her on an inactive status for a while; or command that she take nightly lessons with Alucard on how to control herself when in battle. She sighed. It was ten in the morning and already she had a migraine. "What am I supposed to do with you, Victoria?" she asked the vampire dejectedly.

Seras, expecting to hear some cold and scathing remark and damnable punishment, stared wide-eyed at her second master before stuttering out an answer. "I- I don't know, Sir."

Integra closed her eyes for a moment before snapping them open and standing. She snuffed out her cigar in the ashtray beside her and leaned over her desk towards Alucards 'pet project'. "Officer Victoria, your punishment for your inappropriate behavior is, as of yet, undecided. _However- _" she added as she saw the young soldier relax a bit. "I will be speaking with your master about this. We _will_ find a punishment fit for the insubordinate nature of your behavior. Dismissed, Agent Victoria."

Seras stood there, shaken to the core by Integra's words. Her master? She was going to speak with her master about her punishment?

_Oh Gods, what could be worse?_ She thought helplessly as she saluted to Hellsing's heir and made for the door.

Just as she reached it though, Integra called for her again. She turned around again to look at the young woman, now seated back in her chair behind her desk. "Yes Sir?" she asked, slightly apprehensive.

"You will drink the blood given to you each night. That's an _order_, Victoria." She tacked on the order part to make clear to Seras her intentions.

"Yes Sir!" Seras saluted before finally taking her leave.

--

Integra watched the young girl go with hard eyes. Once the door had closed, she lit up another cigar. "Alucard!" she barked at the room and immediately his head popped out of the wall, soon followed by the rest of his body.

"Yes, Master?" he asked silkily.

Not one to deface herself in front of monsters, she kept down the growl that had formed low in her throat at the smug expression on his face. "You were listening, no doubt?"

"Of course," he purred again.

Her scowl deepened at how seemingly pleased he was by his Dark Child's misbehavior. "Something needs to be done about this," she said, her tone carefully unreadable.

His trademark smirk grew bigger, "About what?"

She glared at him icily, but otherwise showed no outward recognition of his last statement. "We need to find an adequate punishment for her crimes." She added a subtle but undeniable emphasis on the last word.

Slowly, Alucards lips turned up into a twisted grin. "What do you recommend?"

"There are a number of options open as suitable punishments, however, seeing as you asked what I _recommend_, I would say a months confinement and - I would put that grin away if I were you –" yet his facetious grin grew wider "- You will teach her how to control herself."

At _that_ his grin fell away, to be replaced by a completely straight face, almost painful in its seriousness. "No," he said firmly "She has to learn to do that by herself."

Integra scowled at him. "Fine," she said grudgingly. "But we'll need to release her for missions. We can't have our best soldier locked away in our basement while our fairly depleted army is running around without back-up units."

"No," he said again, serious expression still in place.

"Alucard!" she barked impatiently "Whether you like it or not, we need her in the field! She is _my_ soldier- "

"And my fledgling." He replied smoothly.

"But you opted to have her work for me. She is my soldier and as her commanding officer I say she's going onto the field for missions!" she snapped, dropping the last of her cigar into the ashtray. A stead silence ensued, Alucard turning away to go study the portrait of her father on the far wall of her office once again, and Integra sitting behind her desk, carefully watching her servant.

* * *

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Hellsing. If I did, Alucard would be prancing around in the anime naked a whole lot. (thankful now, aren't you?) ... (Or not.)

**A/N:** Woah! This is the third attempt at a Hellsing fic. I'm so glad it worked out this time! I'm hoping this will turn into a long running fic with more than ten or so chapters. It's genre might change a bit in later chapters and I'm not so sure about the rating. I'll leave it at about PG-13 for future content.

**In later chapters, you can look forward to:**Seras going mad (in more ways than one), a hunt, a kill and maybe even a bit of angst. (Okaaaay! A _lot_ of angst then! Pfft!)

I would officially like to take this opportunity to thank my Beta and sister! She's helping me with the plot (because God knows my last stories didn't have one!) and some other stuff. Having her in my room is a pleasant distraction for when I get really tired from looking at the computer screen. And she lets me listen to good music too!!!!!!!

Snake Bites,  
Jinn.

xxXXxx


	2. Nothing To Me

"A _month_!?!!"

Seras stared helplessly at her master, gaping at his smug expression.

Smirking sardonically, he propped his feet up on her table. "This wouldn't have happened if you had taken your blood." He pointedly tapped the steel bucket next to him with the tip of one boot.

She groaned, leaning against the wall and burying her face in her hands. "Master…" she said whined. "Well, at least I can still do missions…" she mumbled to herself. She looked up again, mouth open and words prepared on the tip of her tongue to say something, but she stopped short at the dark look on Alucards face. "What have I done _now_?" she cried helplessly.

He winced visibly at the sound of her raised voice, but remained silent, his ever-present amused expression returning at full force. "Have you been drinking your blood then?" he asked, almost innocently except for the slight mocking tint to his voice.

Seras bit the inside of her lip. Truth be told, she hadn't been drinking, even after Sir Integra's orders. Instead she had been draining the blood pack into the toilet and flushing the bright red liquid away. Even with the memories of her uncontrolled massacre still fresh in her mind, she couldn't bring herself to even come close to putting her mouth anywhere near the blood. Every time she tried, she would suddenly get a flash of one of her men falling in front of her, and she would pull herself away from the tempting liquid.

"I see," Alucards voice came from across her chambers and she forced herself to look at him once again, scowling as she remembered how easily he could read her every thought.

He stood up then, slowly advancing towards her and pulling a blood pack from somewhere in the seemingly endless folds of his jacket. Sometime in the process of rising he had lost his hat and glasses, his cold red eyes now boring into her and his hair swinging rhythmically to his step, growing and writhing down his back with each individual pace.

Slowly, he extended his arm, pushing the hand with the blood pack in his grasp up under her bottom lip, and easily closing the gap between their bodies so that their chests barely touched each other. "Drink," he said quietly, a menacing glint shining in his eyes as they bore into hers. He gently nudged her lips with the cool surface of the pack in his hand, and upon her mind she could feel the compelling pressure of his awareness pushing her to sink her teeth into the plastic bag.

Almost unconsciously, her mouth parted and through her lips pushed her fangs, elongating at the delicious sight in front of her. Her eyes locked on his, and she watched him watching her lips expectantly, waiting for the moment her teeth penetrated the pack to drain from it what her body sorely needed to survive. Briefly, she registered that hiding, concealed under his malice and seeming sardonic amusement at the whole situation, there was the faintest spark of a vast hunger that seemed to stretch out for years behind his being.

Then Seras felt the nudge of plastic against her teeth and the twin drops of blood that escaped its plastic confines to slide languidly down her tongue, and in that second she saw again the faces of her fallen comrades, twisted and knotted with pain, splattered with blood and unspeakable horror, all falling at her hands. She could feel the touch of warm skin curled in her hand and she gripped onto the torn out throat of one of her soldiers, dripping blood down her fingers as they curled tighter than a humans around the cooling flesh.

With a pained cry she ripped her head from the blood pack, bringing her hand up to slap it out of her masters' hand. As the bag went flying, minuted blood drops scattering behind it, one of the jagged edges of her nails caught on the holes her teeth had caused and inertia took hold, causing the plastic to be ripped back, even as the blood continued to fly forward.

With a wet slap, the now-empty pack landed on the ground at their feet, while Seras stood there, riveted to the spot by shock, letting the blood drip from the tip of her nose, even as it dribbled over her lips tantalizingly, and trying to resist the urge to lick it away.

A low growl attracted her attention again, and her head snapped sharply back to Alucard, who stood before her in a towering rage, collecting his powers about him inevitably to unleash them upon his disobedient Child.

Seras watched in horror as his expression darkened and the room clouded over with shadow. In the imposing darkness that now obscured the room, his pale white face seemed to glow brightly, the red drops scattered over his cheeks and nose small jewels embedded in the marble of his skin. His expression was one of unspeakable rage, a look of inhuman fury lighting his eyes into an incredible crimson, deeper than any she had even seen before.

And she cowered away from him, her skin crawling and pulling away from the press of his body against hers. With a small, inward whimper, she prayed in desperation that the wall behind her would just open up and swallow her whole. She had made a mistake in thinking that such thoughtless rebellion would go unpunished by her master, and she was sure to pay for her insubordination. She closed her eyes tightly and turned her head away from where she knew his face hovered just inches above hers.

Then she felt the silky touch of something wrapping around her waist and arms, and she snapped her eyes open to look down. There, curling and writhing about her body were the long tendrils of his hair, snaking behind her back and binding her hands to her sides. Suddenly extremely afraid of him, more so than usual, she began thrashing against him, trying to break free of his hold. But his grip on her was far too strong for someone as weak as her current state and it was now, and now only, that she regretted not drinking.

"I made you, Seras Victoria," he told her dangerously, his deep voice full of hidden warnings and deadly promises "And I can break you just as easily."

"Master," she whimpered helplessly, still trying vainly to break free from his grip.

"You will drink, Police Girl. It doesn't matter when or where, but you will break down and you will drink," His tone was final. There would be no more negotiating on the matter, there would be no more arguing, no more tolerance of her weakness. She would have to learn to accept what she was.

Without thinking, Sears cried out "I don't want to be a monster!"

The bindings on her arms and waist were removed so suddenly that she would have toppled right away from the floor and onto the ground before she knew what was happening had his body not been there. So instead she fell forward, landing solidly in the circle of his arms and against the solid wall of his chest. Before she had the time to step away, his hands were on her upper arms, squeezing so tight that in a few seconds she heard the tell tale snaps of bones breaking. She cried out as she was lifted bodily from her feet and slammed violently against the wall.

"You think that is what you are?" Alucard demanded in a hoarse growl. "You think you are a monster?"

"Well I'm not human anymore, am I?" she screamed. "What am I to you? A toy? Something you can play with and manipulate whenever the occasion seems appropriate to you? What?" She thrashed about again, desperately trying to get out of his grip, but she screamed at the pain that rewarded her struggles, tears coming easily to her eyes to stream down her cheeks.

He pushed her against the wall harder, cracking what was left of the already shattered bones in her arms. He glared at her with a fierce precision, studying her pain-contorted face with a malicious snarl. Then he left go of her, releasing his iron grip from her arms.

Seras stared at him in pained confusion, barely registering the fact that the shadows in the corners of her room were dissipating as she clung to her arms, as if touching them would make them somehow heal faster in her weakened state.

With one last contemptuous glance at her, he turned away, his coat flying behind him at the sharp movement, turning straight into pit of darkness and disappearing from her room, leaving her with the resounding thought in her head.

'_You are nothing to me._'

* * *

**A/N:** Spanks muchness to all my reviewers so far!!! I can't even _begin_ to describe how happy it makes me when I see more reviews in my inbox!!!  
**Katsumi-chan: **Thank you so much for being my first reviewer!!!! And so _soon_!!!!! As for your question: There will _definately_ be an appearance by Anderson. He's going to be one of the key parts of the story.  
**Puppiish: **Thank you!!! I just hope I can keep up with my own imagination!!!!  
**Mistical Kat: **Spanks muchness!!!!  
**xXJiNg-JiNgXx: **I hope this chapter qualifies as a non-sappy Alucard!! Seras will be a bit of a sap.... But she'll harden up as the story goes on!!!! I promise!!!!!!  
**Shinimegami-025: **I didn't think me owning Hellsing sounded too bad either...  
**Insanity of Me: **Thank you!!!! (Eye-bleedingly-bad grammar is something I tend to stear clear of... Especially in my _own_ stories...)  
**StarPlatinum: **Seras-insane coming soon... _Very_ soon, in fact.....  
**Zoe: **Spanks!!! I'm always happy when I get compliments from people who don't just hand them out to randoms!!!! It makes me feel all warm and special!!!! (Random childishness there!!! (KILLITKILLIT!!!))  
**Kagi no ni yoru **and** Lady-Willowish: **Thanks!!! (--is overwhelemed by the response from readers--)

Third chapter coming really soon!!!!!!

Snake Bites,  
Jinn.

xxXXxx


	3. Fight Like You Mean It

It'd be incredibly inaccurate to say that all life begins and ends with dust. But it'd be acceptable to say that life and unlife are filled with and ended with it. And long after life or its parody are complete and all but a long forgotten memory, dust serves as a reminder that once someone or something proud stood tall in its place as it existed. It also covers and hides the last remnants of a past, coveting its secrets and hiding its lies, or the ugliness it represents.

But in the unlife, dust is so much more than what every human believes it to be. Thick layers of it will rest itself upon furniture and books; hiding all that once was- hiding the human past the undead lived before their rebirth into the world of _nosferatu_. But dust and ash are also what becomes of a vampire when the time has come when their existence, of evil intention or not, is no longer required among the race of the living.

Maybe that is why, then, that humans so strive to keep their dwellings dust-free: to wipe away the years of evil, filthy, hurtful or simply unbearable memories that forever live with us.

Is that why vampires turn into memories when they die for the last time? Because anyone who would have remembered them no longer lives, and so the dust and ashes would just simply be swept away on a breeze, and any semblance of the dead is wiped away and scattered over the earth?

So that no one will remember.

Melancholy gripped at the heart and mind of Seras as she lay in her bed-like coffin, itching to roll over onto her side, but not daring to for the broken bones in her arms, inching ever-so-slowly through the tedious process of healing, its pace sluggish from the lack of fresh blood running through her veins.

She had been lying there, unmoving except the occasional blink, for almost up to a complete twenty-four hours. And the only subject she was even capable of entertaining her mind with was her masters last parting words to her as he left her quite literally broken and trembling against the wall, standing in a pool of blood. And she thanked God silently that it was not her own.

For the uncounted time of that hour alone, she sighed and looked around her room. The blood had all pooled into one giant puddle in the corner of her room and was in the process of coagulating in a rounded tile of darkening crimson, the fine splatter of the same liquid on the walls had long since turned black and stained the stone blocks, and the plastic bag it had all come from was still on the floor, edges curled upward like groping hands towards the roof as the blood around it solidified slightly into a thick goo. There was a large trail leading from the centre of the great pooled mass leading to her bed, and the sheets she now lay on were stained beyond repair, sticking to her cold flesh as she calmly but impatiently waited for her bones to pull themselves back together.

She tried again to force herself into a troubled sleep, figuring that any sleep is better than lying on her bed and staring up into the blank red roof of her coffin.

Slowly, her eyelids began to droop and her vision wavered, slipping soundlessly into a haunted dream.

It sounded like someone screaming in uncontrolled mirth. The hysterical laughter sounded tinny and mechanical, and it filled her room with echoes of it's hollow cackling. The sound was high pitched and broke like waves against a cliff in her ears. And it was giving her the most splitting headache.

Blearily, Seras hit the button on her control pad to lift the lid of her coffin. As soon as it began to rise the sound got louder, and continued to do so as the lid opened up full way.

Seras crawled over to the edge of her bed and put her feet on the cold stone floor, shivering as the chill shot up through her legs. The sound was getting louder and more urgent, clawing at her ears and making them ring painfully.

Shaking her head to lift the after-sleep fog, she got shakily to her feet and staggered over to the table, jerking the receiver of the telephone away from the dial pad. She held it loosely by her side, waiting for the ringing in her ears to subside, before lifting it to her ear.

"Yes?" she said a bit more harshly than she intended.

A sharp voice started barking out orders at her. She barely registered that it was the jewel of the Hellsing organization, and she barely registered the fact that she was being sent out on a mission. All she was capable of noticing were the searing pains in her arms and the throbbing drum of blood in her ears, a sound that was just as bad as the phone ringing.

"Yes sir," she said expressionlessly, nodding to herself, even though she didn't catch a word of what Integra had said.

The line cut out and Seras lowered the receiver back down to the table, setting it beside the telephone and leaving it there. She slowly made her way over to the boxes with all her things in them and opened the one with her uniforms in it. They lay folded and neat on the top of all her other clothes, the blue a sharp contrast to all her other mainly pink shirts and skirts.

She winced a few times and gasped as she pulled on the shirt and skirt, the pain in her arms doubling with any sudden or sharp movements. Her stockings were pulled up her legs carefully and her boots were laced up loosely, so loose that they felt like they were going to fall off with every step as she silently made her way through the corridors of the mansion toward the loading bay, her cannon slung uncomfortably over one shoulder.

When Seras got to the scene it was even worse than what her commander had described. Most of the ghouls were women and children, some missing limbs, mandibles, and other parts of the normal human anatomy. They were crawling and walking around aimlessly, some infrequently testing out what their fellow ghouls tasted like, and others just disappearing around the other side of the building.

The units stopped in a copse of trees off to the side of the small kindergarten and unloaded, the soldiers huddling together in the shadows to watch and prepare for the upcoming fight with the ghouls while their commanders barked orders at them.

Seras crawled through a patch of low bushes on the edge of the thicket and lay on her stomach, frequently averting her eyes from the more gruesomely disfigured victims. She loosened her gun in its holster and crawled back to the rest of the troops to get ready, coaxing herself into a state of apathy for what she was about to do, repeating to herself that they weren't humans any longer and the best thing she could give them was a quick death.

The final command to attack came sooner than predicted and Seras suddenly found herself tearing towards the building with the rest of the troops, their sudden appearance catching at the ghouls and the scent of fresh humans sending their senses into a frenzy of hunger. As a group, the whole ranks of mindless slaves turned and began loping towards the sprinting defence force.

Seras let fire at the nearest opponent and a split second later other gunshots resounded around her. Ghouls and men alike fell with shrieks as the team plunged on.

* * *

**A/N:** Eh. 6.0 I really suck at fight scenes...... Blech. Next chapter is coming as soon as I stop getting homework - Don't worry, it should be soon...--cough-- I hate my teachers. They don't appreciate creavity. So what if I usually do it during class? X.x Hehehe.....

**Review Replies:  
xXJiNg-JiNgXx: **I'm sorry this isn't lnger, but I really suck at long chapters. I lose track of what I'm supposed to be writing about. -  
**Fairchilde and Sephira Netzach: **Thank you!!  
**Katsumi-chan: **Sorry, it's Alucard. I couldn't ever imagine Seras being with anyone else.(Did you see the link in my bio to my Anderson doll? -)  
**J!NXTEHF!RSTB!TCHTW!N:**Spanks! I'll make sure to e-mail you for every new chapter.  
**Yun Fei: **Thanks muchness!!!  
**Mistical Kat: **Thanks. (Wow, I really should just say thanks at the beginning of the A/N, shouldn't I?) I'm glad you're hoked, it gives me a reason not to abandon the whole story every time I run into a brick wall!! Yeah, I have considered professional writing as a career, but I really want to do psycology. -

Snake Bites,  
Jinn.

xxXXxx


	4. Letting Go of the Leash

Sir Integra Hellsing stood beside her pet in the grey light of dawn, in an all-consuming rage, her petite hands balled into shaking fists by her sides.

She stared at the scene before her with a stony face. The scene in front of her was on that was being hastily cleaned up by paramedics, firemen and a few hired men from the queen's army, seeing as Hellsing had no men of it own to do the job anymore.

As for the monster beside her, one could almost call the expression on his face gleeful as he watched the latest recruits, or what was left of them, being carried out of the scene in bags, boxes or on stretchers, if they were still intact.

"Your fledgling is destroying my organisation, Alucard," the young Hellsing finally managed to say, a lot calmer than she actually felt. "I thought she was drinking."

"Yes Master," he almost purred, still eying the blood-splattered walls and corpses.

"Alucard! Pay attention! Why are my soldiers' dead then, if she's been drinking? She should have been able to control herself," she demanded angrily.

He shrugged noncommittally and started to stroll around the scene, sometimes walking through a puddle of blood, kicking and spraying it at passing mercenaries.

Integra glared at his smirking face, almost appreciative as he casually walked through the carnage his fledgling had caused. "Alucard, you know what you'll have to do." A flash of annoyance passed across his face, but he turned away and went inside the kindergarten. She followed with a deepening scowl.

"It's not my place to so that," he said darkly over his shoulder, making his way around the room.

"You're her master, Alucard," she said impatiently. "You took her life and gave her a new one, but you can take that away just as easily as you did the first."

"No," he said firmly, and for a split second Integra was taken aback by his objection.

"What do you mean?"

"I will not destroy her."

Finally losing her patience, she growled and shouted "Don't fuck with me Alucard! You _will_ destroy her. It is my order, and you will carry it out the way you do every other of mine- willingly. You will hunt every night until you find her and you will _shoot her_. Then you'll report back to me and you will bring proof of her death." She sighed angrily and pulled out a cigar from her jacket pocket and lit it up, taking a long drag to quell her frustration.

Alucard remained silent, holding a small rag doll in his hands, looking at it with his ever-present smirk. "Alright then Master," he said, tossing the doll negligently aside. He glanced at her once before laughing and disappearing in a swirl of darkness.

Integra pinched the bridge of her nose. "Fucking vampire."

* * *

Seras stirred in her sleep, muttering something incoherent and curling up tighter into a ball. Though her mind had just woken up, she didn't open her eyes just yet, relishing the feeling of having a proper nights sleep for once and not waking up feeling heavy-footed or listless.

After a while though she stretched out and yawned, enjoying the cold feeling of metal through her clothes.

_Metal? _She thought in confusion.

She cracked open an eye, soon followed by the other as they both snapped open at the site of unfamiliar surroundings. The walls around her were solid steel, blackened and rust stained, scratched and decomposing; the small rivets lining the walls were in symmetrical patterns all the way along the plates for a whole ten metres, even the missing studs were identical. There was mould growing on the darkened and worn floor, a thin carpet of moist green, smelling bittersweet to her vampiric senses.

She got hastily to her feet and ran to the end of what she could only assume was an old industrial freezer. The door was heavy and as she pushed against it her skin underneath her clothes crawled away from the damp cold. The door swung open with an almost deafening creak compared to the ominous silence outside.

The site that greeted her beyond the freezer made her heart sink. The warehouse around her was abandoned to the point that there wasn't even a stray rat or animal about, not even a single spider web hanging from the rusting and crumbling rafters and poles. Any sign of human habitation had disappeared, leaving only the exposed skeleton of the building to face the darkening world outside alone as proof of ever once housing a human being or anything that might have been stored or made in the warehouse. And beyond the frame of the decomposing building was a yard, trash-scattered and randomly coloured with graffiti, sometimes meaningless names and other times vulgar swear words written huge for the uncaring world to witness. On the ground were piles of decaying timber and pipes, cardboard boxes and wooden freights, some toppled over, others still standing, though greatly worn out from the racking weather of a chill coastal environment.

Seras walked outside the protection of the warehouse and into the dusky yard, almost being knocked off balance by a sudden gust of salt-tanged wind. She stood in the middle of the debris and scuffed her feet, studying the rotting clutter around her.

Nothing was familiar to her. Everywhere she looked was a new scene to witness, one that she never remembered passing. And beside all that there was the fact that she didn't know where she was or how she even got there in the first place. All she knew now was that she had to get back to the Hellsing mansion.

She walked back to the industrial freezer and put her hand on the cold, rust-encrusted handle, but stopped short, eyes widening, as she remembered the feeling of the handle under in her palm from before.

As if the thought had triggered it, a memory swam to the surface of her mind.

She was running towards the door, cursing in a very un-ladylike fashion that even made her blush now. Her hands were pumping at her sides, the white gloves red-splattered and dirty, and all around her was the smell of blood, cold and warm alike. Her uniform was soaked all over in the dark liquid and she was licking her lips, savouring the taste and thrill of a good kill in between muttered curses.

**The night sky around her was paling quickly and she managed to wrench the door away from its frame and throw herself inside just as the first light of the morning sun crested the horizon. The door slammed shut after her and she sank to her knees in the penetrating darkness as sleep overcame her.**

Seras jerked her hand violently away from the handle, trembling as _everything_ came back to her- the mission, the soldiers, the ghouls, the bloodlust... Oh, the bloodlust. She remembered the thrill in taking the life from every living thing she could put her hands on, and it scared her all the more.

She wrenched the door open once more and plunged inside, running blindly through the thick curtain of darkness until she found a corner.

There she would wait until she was ready to face the world outside again, and the horrible truth that she had lost control again, at the expense of other men's lives.

* * *

**A/N: **Okay, so I'm aware that Integra might come across as a bit OOC with her swearing and all, but I've kinda noticed that whenever she gets super pissed she tends to thrown grace and good-breeding out the window.

**Review Replies:  
**First off, THANK YOU to everyone who has reviewed. XD  
**abc: **Yeah, I know the manga has PipxSeras, but I don't like them. It just seems unnatural to me that Seras would pick Pip over Alucard...  
**Yun Fei:** I try to keep the logic simple. One of my friends complained that I complicate it all the time. Go figure...  
**Kagi no ni Yoru:** A POX ON HOMEWORK! hates teachers  
**Katsumi-chan:** Aw... B-but it's Anderson-sigh- But my school blocks Livejournal too so... -silent teenage anguish- And I'll definately read your fic!  
**Pepsilexxi: **I'm so glad you like it! I love AxS fics too, but the only good ones are incomplete or still being written... Don't ya just hate that?  
**Nighteyes De Dracul: **I try to be as descriptive as I can without it going into over-description. I know _I_ hate it when people go all haywire with the small details...

Snake Bites All,  
Jinn.

xxXXxx


	5. Babel

_**Seras…**_

_Y-yes? _Silence. _Hello?_

_**Do you wish to be alone?**_

_Wh- Alone? W-well, no…_

_**Where are you?**_

_I – what?_

_**Where are you, Seras?**_

_I don't know._

_**Do you want to see your master again?**_

_Master? Why do you ask such odd questions?_

_**Do you wish to see your master again, Seras?**_

_What if I did? What could you do about it?_

_**I could make it so that you could see him, in flesh and body, not only memories.**_

_How? _A low chuckle. _How could you make it so?_

_**I can Seras. All you have to do is open your eyes.**_

_What if I don't want to?_

_**Why not?**_

_Because Master will be angry with me. I killed my unit, I took all their lives, I lost control, I wasn't drinking the blood…I'm a disappointment to him, a mistake._

_**What makes you think that? You could be wrong.**_

_I know my master._

_**Do you?**_

_Yes._

_**Are you sure?**_

_Yes._

_**And why do you think you're a disappointment to him?**_

_I see the way he looks at me. I know how disgusted he is with me._

_**Are you really sure it's disgust?**_

_What else could it be? _Silence… _See._

_**Would you like to see him again?**_

_Yes._

_**Then open your eyes.**_

_But…_

_**Seras.**_

_Please don't make me. I don't want to be awake, I don't want to face what I did._

_**You're…… hiding?**_

_Yes…_

_**From what you did?**_

_Y-yes. _Silence. _Is that wrong?_

_**Wrong, and disappointing.**_

_WHY? Why is it wrong to hide from what I did?_

_**Because you are Noferatu** _The voice was roaring with anger in her mind now, scattering all sense of security it had made her feel. **_You are not human, not anymore! You have nothing to fear! Take your rightful place in the world! Don't hide from it!_**

Silence for a while.

_You sound just like my master when you say that…_

**_Do I? _**The response was low, a dark and seductive drawl. **_Is that all?_**

_What?_

_**Open your eyes, Police Girl.**_

Seras jerked awake, her mind slamming shut to everything and everyone around her.

She propped herself up on her hands, her elbows shaking and giving way underneath her. Her head smacked against the steel wall behind her, a hollow vibration of sound shattering the silence of the industrial graveyard, her new home, at least for now.

She pushed herself up into a sitting position, grumbling half-heartedly and rubbing the growing welt on the back of her head.

"What the _hell_?"

* * *

**A/N: **Okay, I know this is a weird chapter, but it's important for the rest of the story. n-n  
Anyway, yeah. There's a catch to this chapter for y'all. Before I do the next chapter, I'd like 45 - 50 reviews, that way I _know_ that people still want me to go on with this. (Damn me and my insecurities, huh?)  
On with the replies!

**Review Replies:  
Fairchilde: **Thankyou. I actually thought that Alucard might have been a bit OOC in the last chapter. But, eh? What are ya gonna do about it? I'm writing this fic! XD  
**Katsumi-chan: **Heh, I love it when Integra curses. I don't know why, but I do. Seems somehow fitting. XD Can't wait for your next chappie!  
**Becky, Kagi no ni Yoru and Lady Dark Angel: **Thanks muchness! Expect another update... when I get the appropriate amount of reviews! XD! (Don't you just hate me right about now?)  
**Mistical Kat: **I like psycology a lot, but I'll definately give both options more thought! I'm only fifteen right now, so I still have... half a year to choose... XD  
**Midnight Lady: **Sociopathic? Yeah, I guess that fits too. XD  
**Nighteyes De Dracul: **I'm glad you like it so much! I don't really know if I'm getting better or not, apart from whatthe reviewers saythough, because all my friends don't know Hellsing! So I'm left to rely on what everyone else thinks! It's frustrating sometimes. Only one of my friends attempted to understand it enough to read my fic, but she failed miserably... Eh, oh well...

Many thanks to my beta/ sister. I haven't been running the last few chapters by her, so I hope she forgives me. Next chapter, I promise!

Snake Bites,  
Jinn.

xxXXxx


	6. Breaking Static

Seras stared down at her hands unblinkingly, like she had been for about two hours since her rude awakening. Her vibrant crimson eyes were wide with a mixture of shock, confusion and pure, undeniable horror. She was sitting cross-legged in the furthermost corner of her freezer, the limbs in question laying palm up and open in the cradle of her lap.

Had she not been alone, anyone would have found the sight peculiar, to say the least, but at a closer distance they would undoubtedly be able to see what so avidly drew her attention.

From the light she had seen outside the freezer door in her quick peek into the chaotic surroundings of her temporary home, the young vampire made the day to be at least partly over, the sun still high in the afternoon sky as it glared down at the earth. Seeing no-one in possible sight, she had left the door open so that she may see her newly acquired room.

When she had looked again at her new living space, she had been utterly horrified. The steel on the walls literally peeled away from itself in sheets and layers or rust, the mould on the floor seeming alive with the microscopic life teeming under its surface. It was slick and shiny in the faint light, a vibrant emerald green that almost seemed to glow in places.

But this was the only place she had to go, and so this is where she could be found as the day around her died into the darkness she had acquired with her masters bite.

The thought of her master bought with it a pang of guilt and anger. He didn't have to be so rude to her all the time. Maybe if he had been a bit kinder towards her during the earlier days of her unlife she wouldn't be so put off about drinking blood. But instead he had forced it upon her with sharp reprimands and cruel taunts, always reminding her of how much of a disappointment she was to him.

But what had he said in her mind as she slept?

_**And why do you think you're a disappointment to him? You could be wrong.**_

_Could_ she be wrong? But if she wasn't, why was he always so cruel? Why was he always telling her how much he resented the fact that she never drank her blood to become strong like him? Why was he always trying to get her to drink from him and walk alone? Like him.

So alone.

Seras wasn't ready to be by herself for the rest of eternity. She was already flat out trying to keep from being by herself at Hellsing, where the only person she could rely on for company without being looked at like a monster was the elderly retainer. And even then, chance of just hanging around with him was scarce as he was always on order and command of Integra.

_But now, _she thought sadly, _there is no-one here for me at all._

At that thought, she felt something warm and wet trickle down her cheek only to land with a small crimson-dropped splash in her palm. A tear, no longer that of a human, but of a Nosferatu- a vampire.

And her hand. Not her own anymore either. It was a killers' hand with a victims' blood coursing through it, flowing black and misty beneath her pale skin. Flowing endlessly inside her body, or at least until she stopped it.

Shakily, she traced the veins in her wrist with one finger, following the dark line until she could see it no more in the centre of her palm. She was horrified by it. Black, her blood was as black as midnight, running smooth and untainted like the night sky.

_No. It is not my blood, it never was. It was their blood, and I took it, without reason or cause._

More tears splashed down onto her palm and she closed her fingers around the small puddle. It scattered from under her crushing fingertips and flowed over the side of her hand, landing to stain her already irreparably damaged uniform. The uniform that she would have wear for the rest of her undead life. Or did she?

Did she really have to stay I her uniform and live like a rodent in a decaying building? Couldn't she go and get some new clothes, find somewhere where she could live properly?

"Yes," she breathed excitedly, finally tearing her eyes away from her hands. "Of course." She looked around at the crumbling steel walls around her. There was no way she was going to sit and wallow in this place forever. She was a vampire, after all, and by God! She was _Alucard's_ vampire! She could do everything he could, if only with a little practice. And that was all she needed. Practice and time. Time to be what he wanted her to be.

An overdue sense of pride came to her then. She was the fledgling of a very powerful vampire, and even if he doubted her and regretted making her, she was now intent on making him proud. If only to rub it in his face.

She wasn't as weak as he thought, and she was going to prove that!

She got to her feet, back straight and face set like steel, her every thought bent on escaping the hell she had forced upon herself. She turned to start striding towards the door of the freezer when she stopped dead, her blood running cold in her blackened veins. She gasped and began to breathe harshly, her breaths short and painfully constricted with fear.

Silhouetted in the now open doorway was none other than her master, grinning like the Cheshire cat, his long crimson coat swaying in the slight breezes pushing at him. In his hands were his guns, both Jackal and Casull, gleaming in the light of the setting sun, both pointed directly at her.

"You should learn be careful with your thoughts, Police Girl. I could hear them a mile away," he said with an evil chuckle.

Seras' face flushed first with embarrassment, followed quickly by a pale wash as she realised he had probably heard everything. The fact that he knew that she planned to prove him wrong about her seemed to not only spoil her fun, but also make her tremble with fear at the prospect of him taking a very severe revenge for such an act. And the fact that he knew she knew he knew made it all the worse because it was just entertain him more.

Involuntarily, she started to back up to the wall behind her, wondering and hoping if the wall would give way under her if she pressed hard enough. As soon as she felt the decaying metal through her clothes, she pressed the flat of her shoulders against it. It didn't give at all. And she began to panic.

She turned around, eyes frantically running over the surface to see if there was a weak spot in the wall, any sign that an area might be coming loose or becoming weak, any space she might be able to escape through.

"What are you doing Police Girl?" came a whisper from right beside her ear.

She shrieked and jumped away from the wall, stumbling and falling to her knees, leaving her prostrated in front of her master like a slave to royalty.

She got hastily to her feet, scrambling to erect herself before Alucard decided to end everything right here and now. Her eyes locked onto those of the elder vampire and she froze, bent double in the act of standing up straight. He was staring at her intensely, his ever-present grin only barely visible in the dark.

But even in such scant light she could see his long, pointed fangs rearing down out of his mouth to gleam like daggers as he continued to smirk down at her from his impossible height. His eyes were hidden as always by his red tinted glasses, and his hat was tipped low in the brim. Out from under it flowed his masses of his black hair, writhing with a life of its own.

She made a small squeaking sound, knowing full well that he was planning something. And whatever it was, she wasn't going to come out of it unscathed, not in the slightest. She could practically feel his power emanating off him in crashing waves and she shuddered back at the vast expanse of it as it broke against her form.

"M-Master…" she breathed fearfully. His response was a low growl in the back of his throat, a deep, menacing sound that vibrated hollowly in the decaying chamber.

Her legs started to wobble under her and she stepped back again to lean herself against the wall for support. It was then that she remembered her resolution. She was _not_ going to be weak around him; she wasn't going to cower in his shadow any longer.

A little more confidently than she felt, she straightened herself again, pushing herself off the wall and stepping away from it, her jaw set and her face defiant. This was her moment to get away, to make him proud, to make him realise that she wasn't going to stand for this anymore. But why did she feel so bad about doing it? Guilty, regretful? It wasn't as if he cared about her or anything. He was always looming above her with threats and jeers, but only when she went against him did he notice her. Only when she defied his commands to drink and fight like a proper vampire did her cease his taunting of Integra for long enough to reprimand her.

With these thoughts in mind to anger her and set her resolution in stone, she stepped forward again, straight into the raised barrel of his gun.

* * *

**A/N: **Ooh, another cliffy! Well, you know what to do if you want another chapter! insane laughter (Heh, don't ya just hate me now?)

I'd like to say a **BIGSPANK YOU**to all my reviewers! I was so thrilled to get such a response! And yes, that was Alucards voice in the last chapter. As for continuing this fic, I wouldn't stop if my life depended on it! I love writing it (and writing in general) too much! So not to worry, this fic will continue at its stately pace! (Hey, is it _really_ my fault if "stately" is rediculously slow? No! It's my teachers!)

Okay, something that's gonna make you all scream at me like crazies: I'm putting this on hiatus for a quick while so I can do my assignments and write a one-shot sequel to my _Sing for Absolution_ fic. PLEASE DON'T HATE ME! cries

Love y'all,  
Spanks for the reviews my lovely xFall Childrenx,  
Snake Bites,  
Jinn.

xxXXxx


	7. Giving No Matter

Seras pressed her heart to the barrel of the gun and stared defiantly in the red sunglasses of her master. He smirked down at her and cocked the weapon fully, and her eyes caught the slight tightening of his hand around the trigger. But that didn't make her back down, even if she did become a bit more apprehensive about she was about to do. Whatever thoughts Seras Victoria might have been rational enough to have at that point were forced out of her fear-riddled mind as she prepared herself to openly and tactlessly go against her masters will. His looming form, both physical and psychological, were becoming too much for her to handle, and his taunts were doing nothing to help her.

And the way he was _smirking _at her! Right when she was about to commit the equivalent of suicide, and he had the audacity to smirk! She was about to do something so drastic that it made her visibly twitch, and he just stood there with that smug, all-knowing sneer of his! Not happening.

Seras drew herself up to her full height, one not very impressive against his or Integra's, but impressive enough for a girl, and leant against the gun harder, pressing it closer to her heart. Her skin pebbled at the touch of colder metal to her cold skin, and she inadvertently twitched so that it wasn't pushing so hard against her pale skin.

"I'm not doing this, Master," she said evenly, though her voice came out hushed and gravelly. "I'm not going to be scared of you any more." Alucard's eyebrows rose, but she continued before he could say anything, "I'm sick of always being taunted and sneered at, I'm sick of being told to drink when I just _can't_ and I'm sick of you always thinking that I'm ever going to be what you want me to be." She glared up at him, hating the way his grin grew bigger with every one of her words. "I'm _not_ going to be like you. I'm _not_ going to like taking someone else's life to maintain my own. I'm _not_ going to do it."

All was silent for a few seconds after her outburst, a penetrating lack of sound that felt as if it might make her head burst from the sheer lack of _anything _happening. She wished again that she was still alive so that she might at least have her breathing to break the impossible depth of quiet crushing in on her, even as she continued to glare up at the man in front of her.

The silence was broken though by the very same figure. Alucard. He wasn't speaking but, rather, chuckling. The sound started as a deep rumbling in his chest, vibrating the clothes he wore until he could stand it no longer and his face split in a feral grin as he all out _laughed_ at her. His laughter grew more maniacal by the second and soon they were turning into screams of absolute mirth. Seras twitched at the sound of it, wincing as it rose increasingly loud, echoing off the metal walls of the freezer.

"Excellent!" he managed between gasps of laughter. "Absolutely fabulous!" he spread his arms out wide, gun still in hand, and continued his laughter, the sound of it sinister in the solid black wall of silence still trying to press in on them. Still laughing, he said "But Police Girl, how do you think you'll manage that if I'm still your master?" a sibilant hiss drawing out the last letters of 'Master'. His laughter died down and he straightened up, suddenly deadly serious, his face set stone-like and pale in the drawing black. "What I want, Police Girl, you will give."

* * *

**A/N: **This is really short for such a long wait on it. Sorry about that. I've had a bit of a block. Not happy. I'll start writing the next chapter straight away. (I don't have too many assignments! YAY!) Also, I'd like to pitch in right now that there are two LiveJournal links in my bio now: my personal journal (scarredperfect)(which is friends-only, though I'll add anyone)and then the one for my fics! (jinnatarys)(public) Woo!  
**Thank you to everyone who reviewed that last chappie.** Really, I don't know what to say to you all, it's overwhelming. I've been away for a bit on my property (it has no electricity -.-)and my comp crashed fora bit more (something about virtual memory... S) And there have been _so many_ responses. I'm greatful to you all... Yes, even the person who gave me a bad review on LJ. Creative criticism is always welcome... But I'm not going to change my fic just because you don't like it.

Other than that, there's not much else to say!  
Snake Bites,  
Jinn.

xxXXxx


	8. Taking Advantage

Seras stared at the monster in front of her, the one with the face compiled completely of hard, angled lines. The face of a monster that looked at her now, face set with gravity; though his glowing red eyes shone with a thoughtful gaze, waiting for her to react.

She drew in a breath she did not need, and stared right back at him, steeling all her strength and courage inside her. "You won't be my master anymore then, if it means my freedom from you and the life you gave me," she said simply. "I've hated almost every day of … of…. of whatever _this_ is, every day since you killed me. I don't want to hate living anymore." She continued to look into his thoughtful eyes calmly, waiting for some kind of reaction, some sudden outburst as retaliation to her quiet defiance.

All she got was a smirk as her master began to circle her slowly, stalking her silently as he looked her up and down. She followed him with her eyes, her head spinning around as far as it could before she turned her whole body to follow his movements, their eyes locked with each other's. She was about to say something else to break the silence before she noticed something. Something like a weight had settled on her chest and mind, a sort of heavy cloth that willed her mind to relax. A small voice in the back of her head told her to fight it, told her to resist. And God was she trying, but her master's eyes kept her own captive.

Her eyes began to droop slightly, her legs feeling heavy as she continued to follow her circling masters eyes. She shook her head slightly to try and clear the fog in her mind, but she found that she could barely even do that much, not unless she wanted to break eye contact with her master…

Her master…

Her… "Master…" Did she just say that out loud?

Alucard's smirk grew. "Yes Seras, I'm your master. Come to me now. Don't be scared." He held out his hand to her, the one not holding his gun. "Come to me, Seras."

"Yes… my master…" she said softly, reaching out her own hand.

But something was wrong. That voice was still screaming at her, louder and more urgent now. Her head began to ache with the conflicting urges, trying to decide between which she should obey. What was happening to her? Where was she? She couldn't remember anything that had happened in the last couple of days. Why was there a voice in her head screaming out against her going to her master? He was her master, her creator. She couldn't disobey him, she shouldn't, and as far as she was aware, he was saving her from something… Wasn't he?

She was too confused. She could barely string two thoughts together. Alucard, her master, was he her enemy, or was he an ally? Who was the other voice?

…. Who cared? Her master was here, that should be good enough for her. And he wasn't ignoring her. She would be so lucky that she ever got this much attention from him back at Hellsing.

… Hellsing. She shouldn't care about that. Hellsing wasn't what mattered. Her master was. She should be proud to be his fledgling; she should willingly obey him and drink the blood his generosity supplied for her.

Blood.

Thick, wet and sweet.

No bitter and gross. Disgusting to even look at, let alone drink. Drinking it would make her a monster.

A monster.

Monster… Monster… Monster, monster, monster, monster, monster, monster, _MONSTER_. Her master was a monster, a monster and nothing more! He wasn't here to save her, he was here to kill her!

Her eyes widened and her hand fell to her side as she ripped her eyes away from her masters. Monster! He was a monster! What had he been doing! Had he been controlling her mind! She glared hard at the ground. The bastard! Why hadn't she noticed earlier! The fucking bastard!

She said it. "You fucking bastard," she lifted her eyes to his again, glaring with all her strength at him. "You goddamn monster," she hissed. "How _dare_ you?" she screeched, stumbling back against the wall again.

His low chuckling began again, though any kindness in his thoughtful gaze from before had disappeared completely. The sound echoed again and made her head throb harder, and she swore she could feel her skin pulsing with the pain it caused her.

With one hand she twined her fingers in her hair and pressed her hand to the aching flesh, vainly attempting to relieve some of the pain, her eyes screwed half shut. She could feel the pressure of her masters mind on hers again, heavy and laden with malice as the pain doubled. She growled as her knees gave way and she landed on the soft, rusting floor again, one hand thrust out under her to catch herself as the other one gripped her head harder.

The sounds of footsteps alerted her and she barely had time to blink before her master's gloved hand was under her chin, raising her watering eyes to his with an iron grip. He was still smirking at her, eyes twinkling in the last fading rays of the sun outside. He lifted her up to his eye level and drew her face close to his, his canines clearly visible under his curling lip. Then his face disappeared, replaced by thick scraggly hair as he bent his face down to her neck. A sharp fang grazed the skin, brushing it with the sharpest point.

"Do you know what you are to me?" he asked suddenly, pulling back slightly to look up at her stunned face.

She nodded her head. "I'm nothing to you," she snarled, not meeting his eyes.

There were a few seconds silence as he continued to stare up at her with his crimson eyes. He laughed once and dropped her back to the ground, letting her land on all fours in front of him. He looked down at her disdainfully and turned away from her, pocketing his still withdrawn weapon in his coat and heading for the door.

Seras watched from the ground with a glare.

He wasn't going to leave her like that again. She wasn't going to let him, not this time.

Before having even given it suitable thought, she launched herself off the floor and ran at him, jumping at the last second and latching onto his back. Beneath her, Alucard stumbled and growled, twisting his head around to glare at the woman attached to his back and raising his hand, ready to pull her off his being.

Taking advantage of the exposed skin, Seras lunged forward as much as possible and clamped her mouth around his throat, biting down savagely and sucking.

_Hard._

She felt his blood fill her mouth and instinctively swallowed, the vampire inside her welcoming the fluid into her body eagerly.

Her master froze where he was, shocked and relishing the feel of another's bite, for only a second before he remembered just who was biting him. With a snarl he wrapped his hand around his fledglings throat and ripped her mouth away from him. Red blood, _his_ blood, spilled down from the hole she had caused and ran down his immaculate suit, staining white red, red brown and black an even darker shade.

She thrashed around in his hold, her hands around his wrist as she tried to free herself from his grasp. Her legs lashed out and struck at his middle. He winced, but did not let her go. She growled and glared at him, blood staining the skin around her reddened lips. She twisted and turned still. Finally, she gave up on trying to do injury with her legs, reared her head back and bit down into his hand, her fangs piercing the soft white cloth and burying themselves in his flesh.

Alucard snarled and threw her away from his being. She was prepared for it this time and landed on her hands and feet with a cat-like grace. It was her turn to smirk at him and she did it with a triumphant glint in her eyes and launched herself at him once more. He disappeared in a cloud of bats and swarmed around her in a screeching mass of black.

But she wasn't paying attention to him anymore. She was staring wide-eyed at nothing.

Something inside her was moving.

Something wasn't right.

* * *

**A/N:** Holay craaap dood. XD Wow. I'm happy with this chappie. ... _Really_ happy. Who woulda thought?  
Khehehehehehehehehehehehe.  
I hope I wasn't too OOC with Alucard. I'm kind iffy about how he behaves in this. Tell me what you think, yeah? _Please_? I really think he's out of it. X-X

**Reviews:**  
Spank you muchly for all the reviews peopleses! I'm happy chappie now. And did I say I was _really_ sorry about the length (or lack therof) of the last chapter? I'M SO SORRY! Goddamn writers block. But hey! It was a freakin' flood this weekend with ideas and inspiration for this.  
**blacktears, AttackingHentaiChibisLoveFluff, Aomee, and Sailore Water Dragon: **Spank you to the muchly! I hope you liked this chappie (to AttackingHentai-can't-be-bothered-to-write-the-rest-of-your-name-'cause-it's-so-god-damn-long: I hope this will... umm... raise you from the dead...? 6.o)  
**Katsumi-Chan: **Hizie! Anderson should be in in the next coupla chapters... depending on how long they are x.x ... Yeah. ... Anyway, I really think you should have kept up your fic! It was awesome! --cries-- Come on! Put it up again,_ please_?--puppy eyes-- But your new one sounds groovy too. Fledgling, eh? --imagination goes running wild-- Sounds good to me!  
**Shadow-Sensei and The Sinner of Anger: **I know it was short... GAH! --dies-- Sorry about that. I hope you like this one though.

And remember all: you can check for fic updates in my livejournal!

Snake Bites,  
Jinn.

xxXXxx


	9. Transformation

Seras took a deep breath and blinked again. Off to the side, she could feel her master's glee practically radiating off him in waves as his body collected back to a semi-normal state.

She ignored it.

Instead she focused on what was happening to her own body. And by God, something was _happening_. Her gut burned and twisted, sending shocks of fiery pain up her spine to ignite a splitting headache in the back of her skull. Her arms and legs were numb and her chest hurt as she continued to try and breathe, but the gasps of air she sought were painful to take in, though a blessed relief to expel. Each time she tried to breath the air came in smaller and smaller puffs until she felt like she was choking. Her mind was blinded by the agony that beat at her from every part of her body and succumbing she closed her eyes and let her legs give out under her.

She hit the ground screaming as something started shifting inside her, like an animal trying to rip its way out from the inside. Something tore through her, a white-hot pain that rendered her mind utterly senseless and stole the breath from her lungs. She cried out as another wave of pain hit her, and another, and another. Her body shook uncontrollably as something started welling up in her gut, a surging and throbbing of everything inside her body. Her blood felt like it was boiling and she could feel little droplets of sweat forming on her brow as the world spiraled around her, blurring into a mix of darkened colours. A ringing in her ears started up, throwing her already confused senses further askew.

Quite suddenly the world went completely blank and the young vampires body started shifting again, this time on the outside. Seras could feel her arms elongating and shrinking repeatedly, like her body couldn't decide on a form it wanted to stay with, and her eyes itched from the back, like they were trying to accommodate something that wasn't normal. She could feel the ridges of her back shifting and pushing out against the skin pulled taut against them, and her hands were changing into odd shapes and changing back. Every part of her was shifting as she continued screaming and writhing with the overwhelming agony that consumed her.

Barely, she registered the touch of something soft against her cheek and, startled, her itching eyes snapped open to stare in wonder at an odd grayish light hovering around her, parts of it extending like hands, complete with fingers and even nails. It was these that she shrank from, the talon-like tips of the fingers brushing against her shoulders and face. The light seemed taken aback slightly, drawing away briefly, before returning to touch her cheek in an almost gentle manner. Seras shied away again, but the touch of the phantom light pressed at her more urgently. Somehow, through all the pain wracking her body, she managed to figure out that this wasn't something to be scared of, and as she realized this, the same thought kept pushing stronger through the pain.

Tentatively, she raised a shaking hand to brush one of the hand-like extensions of the light. It seemed to hover for a second, letting her touch it gently, before it suddenly lunged at her. She shrieked as it hit her, and through her open mouth it entered her body, its presence cold and sickening inside her body.

She screamed louder and panicked, thrashing about on the ground as if to somehow shake it out of her body. But it held firm inside her and prodded and poked at her twisted insides. She felt it consume her and take hold of every one of her limbs. Against her will, her arms and legs stopped pounding against the ground and flailing about her, snapping rigidly to her sides. Her jaw closed with a loud clacking sound, and all she could manage was more strained breathing and the occasional squeak of fright as she felt whatever it was that had possessed her touch her mind and explore her memories, both the ones of her life as a human and the ones after her death. She stared wide-eyed at the crumbling ceiling of the industrial freezer as she came to know herself again, her memories passing by in flashes. She could see her childhood, images of her father, of her school friends, of her teachers. She was growing up again. She was soon a teenager, experiencing her first kiss again, her first concert, the time she learnt to drive, her training as a police officer almost as soon as she got out of high school. And then her first mission, her first time in a large group of men, and soon after, the first time she had to fight for her life by killing her comrades.

She could feel tears prickling at the back of her eyes as she watched again as she was forced to level a gun at someone she had called a friend and shoot. Then there was flashes of trees as she ran towards the shadowy silhouette of the nearby church, surrounded by graves and broken fences. Inside the dark building with the vampire priest, in his arms, smelling the sickening tang of death on his every breath, wanting to get away but too weak to raise her gun with a steady hand, she learnt what it was to be truly afraid again.

Then the crash as her master broke through the door, his shadow cast along the aisle all the way up to the alter the priest held her in front of. But, it wasn't just her master this time; there was something else about him, with him.

There was a sudden jolt of recognition from the thing inside Seras' body.

As she watched Alucard approach her again in the dim church, felt the priests arm tighten around her neck, she saw the flicker of an ancient light inside her master, darker than anything she had ever seen. It was the same sort of light that held her body, but older and more powerful. The spirit of a true vampire. True Nosferatu.

The memory of her turning continued, the odd entity inside her watching as she accepted eternal life, as she was shot, as she fell to the ground in a bloody mess, as her master approached her, and as she died.

Everything stopped when she had died, the soul-like thing inside her having seen enough.

Everything was still on the inside for a moment, before something sharp and jabbing started hitting her limbs, setting her bones aflame again. Ignoring the hold on her body, Seras arched up and her mouth opened, releasing the most piercing shriek of pure agony that anyone could have ever imagined.

The vampire soul inside her was merging with her body.

* * *

**EDIT!  
**Hehehe... I hate this thing... No, not the chapter.  
Anyways, my sincere apologies to **kinokokichigai **who got up to this chapter, only to discover that it magically went --poof-- into nothing... --grumbles-- I seriously had _no idea_ that it had decided to take a roadtrip without taking the other chapters with it (and I'm kinda _really_ glad about that, otherwise I'd have a missing story right in this lovely gap...), and I still don't know how it happenned. So... Yeah... Um... Enjoy the Returned!Chapter Nine.

**A/N: **Eh, I'm _really_ sorry for the lateness of this chapter. But, yet again, school got in the way. I just finished my exams though, so I finally had time to finish this. I was going to have it longer, but I was getting anxious about wanting to put this up and I didn't know how to write the next part without stuffing it up severely! So I'll get started on that tonight and hopefully have the next chappie up next weekend! (If I'm not going away, that is. I can never tell with my parents. I might get hijacked and taken up to Bundaberg... we'll just have to wait and see...)

Officially, this chapter is dedicated to teh _**Simple Whimsy**_ because she gave me my 100th review! THANK YOOOOOOOOOOU!  
And a special hug to everyone else that has reviewed because, nah duh, I wouldn't have made it to my current 103 if you hadn't!

**Replies:****  
****NyRoNiC, RenegadePineapple, Shadow-Sensei, deathsangel666, Bloodywolf, Kage28, megs626, The Sinner Of Anger, Black Mage Tsucasa, Midori318**: Thankyou all so much! I hope this one is okay for y'all! I loved writing this chappie so much! You have no idea! One thing I noticed though was the complete lack of dialogue in it...--sweatdrop--

**AttackingHentaiChibisLoveFluff: **Happeh birthday to yeh! (I know it's super late. Sorry!)

**Arrowfire:** I kinda noticed how much my style changes too! I'm really sorry about that. I have a tendency to read books and then write a fic afterwards and just experiment with different styles! (That, or I write in different moods all the time!) Creepy. I'll try and be more consistent though.

**Katsumi-Chan:** Oh please, oh please! Get a computer quick! I love your stories! And yes, Anderson should show up pretty soon, hopefully in the next two or three chapters! And they'll probably come out fast seeing as I've now got nothing to do at school and I have holidays in two weeks!

**LadyMoon: **Thankyou for pointing out the problem in chapter six! I've seen the series too and read the manga, but... you know... --cough-- I'm lazy sometimes and... stuff... I might go back and fix it though... Um... Yeah. Thanks for reviewing though! I appreciate it!

Snake Bites,  
Jinn.

xxXXxx


	10. The Priest Knows

The transformation was complete, and Alucard watched on as the last shudders and twitches left his ex-fledglings shoulders. Afterward, there was no movement.

He slowly walked up to her prone form, grinning like the madman that he was. She would grow now, to be a proper vampire, not a weak parody of an immortal human. His grin broadened as he took in the tattered uniform she still wore and the blood on her exposed skin, still trailed with the dark lines of her blackened veins. Perfect.

Still staring at her, he removed his coat and laid it gently over her, leaning down to bundle her small form in his arms. He straightened again, her head lolling against his arms, and grinned down at her closed eyes. This was going to be fun.

With the promise of an amusing next couple of weeks, or maybe even years, if the girl became good enough, he marched out the door.

* * *

The sun rose bright and beautiful in the March sky for Sister Mary-Anne. The garden out the back of the convent looked glorious leading on from the patio of the kitchen, an excellent place to serve the visitor from the Vatican breakfast. It would be a meal he would never forget and surely be a factor in which to consider in his recommendation that the convent be turned into an orphanage.

The Sisters had all been quite excited when Mother Elizabeth had told them all about her decision to modify the convent to accommodate children, and they had all been pitching in their equal efforts to show the visiting Father that they were well equipped and capable of looking after themselves with little difficulty, and that they would be exceptional for the task of looking after and educating children in the ways of God Almighty.

And apart from the fact that they were more than capable, the large building in which they lived and prayed was large enough to house a small army (as it had already proved in World War Two).

Yes, thought Sister Mary-Anne as she threw open the doors to welcome in the warmth and radiance of the morning sky, they would do well in raising the kids and teaching them Gods Divine Will.

Stepping outside, she wandered around the lush grounds, bending over occasionally to smell the sweet flowers they had planted in the spring of last year. The grass was greener than it had ever been, and the birds that hung around in the trees were singing and bathing in the early warmth. There were a few bees hanging around the lavender bushes, and butterflies already at work on the roses and magnolias. Mary-Anne breathed in a deep breath and exhaled with a broad grin.

_Time for breakfast, I think, _she thought happily, making her way over to the vegetable garden to pick some fresh tomatoes. But as she stepped through the gate, something in the far corner caught her eye. She turned her head in the direction of the misplaced colour and saw a blue and cream lump sitting, slumped over, in the shadows cast by the guttering of the tool house beside the garden.

Picking up a dirty shovel standing upright in the earth beside her, she approached the strange person cautiously, the spade slung over her shoulder, ready to come flying down on their head if they did anything to alarm her. She stopped three feet away from the person, staring down at the bowed head, covered in a shock of blonde hair all sticking together with something dark.

"What is your business here, child?" she asked gently. The figure did not stir, but rather seemed to ignore her. She took a step closer and repeated her question, "Why are you here?" Still the person ignored her. Getting decidedly agitated now, she stepped closer and bent to shake the persons shoulder, however as she touched the ripped clothes of the person, they toppled over onto their side. Jumping back, she looked down at the dirty face staring back up at her.

The young woman was barely older than a teen, her pretty face hidden beneath a layer of reddish filth. Her eyes were half-lidded and rolled back into her head, her mouth partly open. Gasping, Mary-Anne bent down to check if she was okay. She bent her ear close to the girl's mouth to listen for breathing. There was nothing. The checked her pulse on her wrist and found no beating of blood against her fingertips. She checked the pulse in her neck and was greeted by the same absence of life. Moving quickly, she sped from the vegetable garden and back to the convent, dropping the shovel outside the building with a thud.

"Mother Elizabeth! Mother Elizabeth!" she cried as she ran through the kitchen and up the stairs beyond. The other sisters came rushing out of their rooms when they heard her calling, and at the end of the corridor leading from the landing, both the Mother and the Vatican visitor came out of the study. "Mother Elizabeth! Come quick! There is a girl in the gardens! She's ill! I could not find a pulse on her!" she ran forward and grabbed the Mothers hand and pulled her down the stairs. The sisters followed the pair quickly, followed by the Father. As they neared the garden, Mary-Anne let go of the Mothers hand and rushed forward to kneel beside the girl.

The Mother followed her to the figures side and leant over the girl, brushing away the matted hair covering some of her face. She lifted her hand to her face, which came away sticky and dirty, and sniffed at the strange substance. "Blood," she said quietly. Then she looked up and said to two of the other nuns, "Could you please fetch the stretcher and a blanket? We need to get her inside the house quickly." The sisters nodded and went back to the house. "Father?" The tall man stepped forward through the group of curious Sisters, took one glance at the young girl, narrowed his eyes and looked back at the Mother, "I would ask of you to go and fetch some warm water and a cloth, and take them up to the guests quarters. You two," she looked at two more Sisters, "Please show the Father to the guest quarters and prepare a bed with good, thick blankets and several pillows. Prepare the bed as fast as possible for the young woman and have a supply of bandages and some antiseptic ready for treating her wounds." The Sisters nodded and lead the Father back to the house, talking quietly.

Meanwhile, the two sisters that had been sent for the stretcher came back into the garden and rushed forward with the apparatus carried in between the two. They set it down gently beside the girl, and the combined efforts of Mother Elizabeth, Sister Mary-Anne and four other nuns got the strange young woman safely onto the stretcher, and covered her with the blanket that had been lying on top. Taking one handle each, the Mother and three sisters lifted the stretcher from the ground and they began walking slowly towards the convent, the rest of the group trailing behind them worriedly.

* * *

Mary-Anne looked down at the girl in the bed in confusion. She had been sent up to clean and bandage her wounds, and to wait until she woke up. The only problem she could find as she stood above the girls naked torso, bandages in one hand and a bowl of hot water in the other, was: what wounds? The girl's body was completely clean of any cuts or abrasions, leading the nun to wonder with uncertainty where all the blood had come from. And still no one had been able to find her pulse, though they knew she was alive because she had stirred uneasily in the stretcher as they had been carrying her inside the convent. The Vatican Father was the one who came up with an explanation for her missing pulses.

"_Maybe hers is just hard tae find. Ah've had some cases lack tha' wi' children at mae oon orphanage," he said quietly._

_Mary-Anne nodded solemnly and stopped trying to find the young woman's pulse. She rolled down the sheets, took one look at the Father and decided that he should probably leave the room. "Father, would you mind…?" she left the question hanging and cast a meaningful look at the door._

"_Nae at a'," he said and walked over to the door, closing it softly._

"_Um, no Father, I meant, could you please leave the room while I tend to the girls wounds?"_

"_Ah dinnae think tha' wid be ae smart idea, Sister," his eyes had once more locked onto the girls face._

And so now they both stood there, looking at the pale and naked torso of the young blonde splattered and smudged with dried blood, but without a scratch on her. The only irregularities on her skin were three scars on her throat, one long and thin running for three inches down the very centre, and two small circular ones on the side.

_How's he going to explain **this**?_ The nun thought bitterly. No scratches, but so much blood? And she was practically comatose! Her eyes were rolled into the back of her head, the whites partially visible through the slightly open eyes, and she kept growling randomly in the back of her throat whenever the Father went to put his hands anywhere near her.

"Ah think ye shid clean her up an' be leavin', sister. She is nae a normal woman. Ae heretic, an' ae sinner. Clean her quickly, an' leave this room," the Father said quietly.

"Father?" she inquired, taken aback by his harsh words about the strange girl. "Do you know her Father?"

"Aye, I know her. Her, an' the blasphemous organization she works for." With these few words, he stepped back into the corner of the room, and motioned for her to start cleaning.

Working quickly and silently, she had the woman's skin clean and her clothes changed in a few minutes, always under the scrutiny of the Vatican Father. When she had finished dealing with the old ragged uniform-like clothes and had laid the girl back down on the clean sheets of the bed, she pulled the blanket up to her chin and turned to face the Father.

"Father, what did you mean by -" she was cut off be the man.

"Ye shid be leavin' now. The sun is almos' at the horizon, an' she'll be wakin' soon. Ye'll nae be safe from her." His glasses flashed as he stepped away from the corner into the afternoon sun cast in long rectangles along the floor and walls.

"Father?" What was the man talking about? Not be safe from who? The girl? But she was practically dead!

"Oot wi' ye now. Tell the Mither an' sisters tha' no-yin is allow'd near this room."

"Y-yes Father Anderson," she stuttered and gathered debris of her cleaning into her arms and quickly left the room.

As she began walking down the hallway, she heard the distinct sound of a lock being snapped shut behind her.

* * *

**A/N: **Ahhhhhh! I can't believe it's taken me so long to write this! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'M SORRY! Xx I was hoping to get it up before I left the week before last! But so much has been happening that I get sidetracked a lot! AND I'M NOT EVEN BACK AT SCHOOL YET! --dies-- I'm dreading what it's going to be like when I go back for term three! There's so much more to do at school!  
Anyway, this chapter is officially dedicated to Katsumi-Chan, because Father Anderson is _at long last_ in the story! I write such small chapters all the time that she had to wait really long for him to come in! Thank goodness she's so patient with me! And I hope I got some of the accents on his words right too! I know I got most of them because I used the manga's as a reference, but I couldn't find anything for the word "should"... --sweatdrop--  
I think that's about all that I've got to say... Ooh! I might redo the last couple of lines in this chapter, 'cause I'm not really happy with it... Kinda. And that's a definate "**_might_**" there. Thenagainmaybenot. Xx

**Review Replies:  
Shadow-Sensei: **Hahaha, --gives you a cookie-- ("Come to the dark side! We have cookies...") My friend has random guys kissing him all the time too... --' Poor boy. Anyway, official thanks for reviewing: --hugs--  
**Midori318, Lady Dark Angel, Demonic Silence, Sailor Water Dragon, Dawnie, The Sinner of Anger, Alucard's Bane, pepsilexxi, FukoKirisawa, moon-fan-101: **Hehe, thanks all for your reviews! I'll try and get them out faster, I really will!  
**AttackingHentaiChibisLoveFluff: **I wanted my mum to get me an iPod when she went to Bangkok last year for Christmas. She completely forgot about me though. --cries-- Haha, oh well. Sorry it takes me so long to update. I'll try harder!  
**Nighteyes De Dracul: **--hugs-- Thank you!  
**DarkHuntressNoyze: **Thankyou for your kind words! I feel all warm and fuzzy inside now! I hope this chapter is as good to you as the other ones were!  
**Magritha: **Thankyou for your review! It's night to know that new people are starting to read my fic, even when it's so far on in the story! Well... not really... Xx Either way, reviews like yours make me more enthusiastic about writing!  
**Darkfighter: **This chapter really didn't show anything that Seras is turning into, but wait till next chapter! I'm going to wake her up to Andersons friendly face! Argh! Poor girl! She goes through so much! Xx

Thanks all for staying with the story so far! I hope you're all enjoying it as much as I am!  
luff  
Jinn.


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